Dark, Smart, and Full of Heart

On Saving the Best for Last

1/12/2015

I’m writing a lot right now, which is pretty amazing. Actually, the current situation is a bit of a dream come true—daily writing, watching a manuscript expand and expand. But, while the word count increases, I’m just not feeling my story and the characters, they’re… meh. At best.

Thankfully, since the last time around, I’ve developed something of a network of expert writers who, I’m pretty sure, just saved me from a lot of pain. And by pain, I mean many wasted days and angsty tears. Writing, when it goes smoothly and the characters speak to you and the plot works like well-oiled gears, well, that writing is heaven. To me, it’s like a really, really good conversation with a best friend, where you’ve already interrupted each other for three hours and you never ever want to go home. That conversation. But when it doesn’t work, writing really messes with your emotions. It makes you think that maybe you didn’t actually just finish two other books. It makes you feel like you might as well give up because you just don’t have it in you and these stupid characters deserve about a half sentence in a How Not to Write manual. You get the picture.

This weekend, thankfully, when presented with my character/plot dilemmas, a rather excellent group of women helped talk me off the ledge of writing despair and into a better plot. I came out of that conversation jazzed and ready to go. The final piece of advice I received was to try starting with the juicy scenes--the ones I couldn't stop thinking about--and expand from there.

So, this morning, I sat down and started to write. Only, when things got really, really good--when my heart got all tight with excitement and the ideas started streaming in--I stopped. I set it aside and thought, ‘Great, now I can tackle the harder stuff.’ But there’s an issue with that and it’s something I forget about myself: I save my favorite for later. Always. Over the years, I’ve adjusted, forced myself to wear a favorite sweater or dress, rather than pushing it to the back of the closet. The same with books: I save that one I’ve been wanting to read forever, until… well, later. Which I realize is pointless.

It’s weird. I’m weird. But at least I know it, right?

And I even think I know where it comes from. By nature, I'm not a delayed gratification type of person. If they'd given me that marshmallow test as a child, it's pretty clear that I'd have swallowed that thing down in seconds. From the age of five until I was about ten, I had a best friend who knew how to wait. In fact, she made something of an art of it. While the rest of us gobbled our treats down, she collected them. By the end of the day, when the rest of us were just starving for a new round of treats, that bitch always had a marshmallow or ten. Eventually, I learned my lesson. After too many years of disappointment and end-of-day envy, I began to copy her, finally training myself in the art of delayed gratification.

But I'm older now. And I'll eat marshmallows for breakfast, if I want to. Besides, this is about more than a stupid marshmallow.

So, this morning’s new task is easy, because there’s no word count goal and I’m not looking to get any major plot work done. All I’ll do today is draft a fabulous love scene. That’s it.

I wonder if this auto-withholding is a kind of self-sabotage. Am I the only one who puts off the good parts or are there other writers out there torturing themselves for no earthly reason? And, if you've done this, but fixed it, how did you go about that? I'm dying to know.

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just my dream agent. No big deal.

11/15/2014

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It’s been something of a momentous week. Actually, momentous might not be strong enough a word. What happened is that I just signed a contract to be represented by Laura Bradford—my #1, must-have, best-case scenario, would do almost anything to get, dream agent. Laura Bradford, you guys!!!!

The phone call, when it came, was one of those surreal experiences where your brain is a half-step behind your mouth. Thankfully, my mouth must have come up with some ok-sounding stuff, because, despite exorcist-like kid screams in the background, she apparently thought I was sane enough to offer me representation. (This Tweet was posted immediately before the phone call. I seem to have passed the shithouse rat test—PHEW!)

I am about to call someone and offer them representation. Provided they don't turn out to be crazier than a shithouse rat.
— Laura Bradford (@bradfordlit) November 13, 2014

Clearly, this is an early step in the process, but it’s a huge milestone, and a specific objective that I set myself a little over a year ago. When I think back to the advice I received not to put all my hopes into one agent… I almost have to laugh. I remember thinking, “I want Laura Bradford. She’s my agent.”

So, while I feel tremendously lucky (there’s a star up there with my name on it), I also know that I must have done something right. And if I figured out the right thing to do, then so can you!

Here’s a little list I put together of what I did right (I’ll let you figure out the wrong things on your own):

Know thyself.
As much as possible, it’s important to keep a handle on reality and get a little perspective on who you are and what you’re capable of. I wrote a novella a few years ago. It was awful. Truly, truly bad. I didn’t take it and rework it and shop it out to agents. It just wasn’t, in my opinion, worth it. I knew that because I can read. I also knew that because I made the effort to step back and admit that it really wasn’t something I wanted others getting their hands on. That’s ok. That novella proved that I could finish something, which was what I needed at the time.
It’s good to write that crappy novella or the unreasonably long book. Just don’t put it out there until you’re sure it’s the right one.

Write!
If you're going to sell a book. You need a book to sell. While you're figuring out all the logistics, you might as well write one.

Read!
As you write your grand opus, I recommend that you look at which authors you most resemble, the ones you like, the ones whose writing you most admire. And then read. I have a few absolute faves and, while reading them, I came across the name of the same agent over and over and over again. I kept thinking to myself, “Wow, this agent has great taste.” That thought eventually morphed into, “Wow, I wish that were my agent. She really seems to know her stuff.”

Listen to the experts
I read, I talked, I asked questions, I took classes. And I still know next to nothing. But there are some crazy smart people out there, just giving advice away for free. Take their advice and use it.

Know what you want
I don’t mean kind of know or think you know or hope that this is the right thing. Know exactly what it is that you want and then go for it. I didn’t just want an agent. I wrote my book and, while I was doing that, I found the agent who was right for me and I figured out how to (hopefully) get my manuscript in front of her. Obviously, you can only do so much (like I said, that star was shining), but I made sure the odds were lined up in my favor.

Have a plan
So, you’ve got the end goal. Now, in order to get what you want, you’ll need to have a step-by-step plan. Mine was a multi-phase plan. Phase 1: enter contests and get feedback. Phase 2: improve manuscript. Phase 3: Hope to final in said contests. Phase 4: Hope like hell the final judges were interested in seeing my work, etc.

Do your research
Just randomly throwing out queries isn’t efficient. You need the right names, the right way to approach them, the right submission guidelines. You also may want to keep an eye on what they’re saying. They might have a blog or be active on Twitter. All of that will help you hone your plan. I entered a specific contest because my dream agent was the final judge. My hope was that my book would final in the contest and then that she’d like me.

Listen to feedback
I sought suggestions from friends, colleagues, teachers, class-mates, first round contest judges, etc. As with anything, you take what works and discard what doesn’t, but I could not have written my book without that outside perspective.

Practice the art of patience
I am not a patient person and, while tearing out my hair and refreshing my inbox, I noticed that there’s only one letter separating Writing from Waiting. You write, you wait for feedback, you quickly make those changes, then submit to a contest, then wait. Then, if you’re lucky enough to move on to finals, you wait some more. If, several weeks later, you’re lucky enough to have a request for a full manuscript, you polish it and send it out. And wait. For every crazy, mad-dash editing session you put in, prepare for several weeks of waiting in between.

Hey, all that waiting will give you time to write another book!

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On Saving the Best for Last

just my dream agent. No big deal.

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